i had a dream last night.
the funny thing is, i cant really remember it..
all i remember is that it disturbed me greatly and effectively ruined my night...
this is something that seems to have been happening more and more frequently, especialy in the past 6 months..
i don't really know why, but i'll tell the truth its getting freaken annoying.
some nights i'll have incredibly violent dreams and i wake up more tired then when i went to bed as cause it was so exhausting..
other nights i'll have dreams that make me furious or heart broken or confused or some freakishly odd mix of all 3, so i wake up crying, pondering, and punching holes in my wall all at the same time...
and then there are the perverse, retreaded, or other such as dreams where i wake up wanting to bash my head against a wall or break my knuckles or do SOMETHING to inflict the amount of pain on myself that i feel i deserve for having.. {those} kindof thoughts..
*sigh* my mom has the theory that it all has to do with the amount of physical exercises i get in a day..
apparently since i don't get enough physical exercises i have more energy at night to ponder..
and while i'll admit that being more tired might make me sleep better, i believe that that would only mean i would have a harder time breaking out of these cursed dreams of mine..
so it wouldn't really fix the problem..
however, the other day i had a thought..
possibly i spend to much time locked inside my own head and don't say what i'm thinking enough..
possibly if i could find a way to "release" (per say) my thoughts, i wouldn't wind up trapped by them every night..
but where could i find a place to write out the results of all this obsessive pondering i do?
then i had a (well i believe "inspired") thought, why not make a blog?
then all the people who are curious about what goes on is this completely crazy, jumbled, random, utterly... whatever mind of mine, can read about it, and everyone who doesn't care can just ignore it..
and i (hopefully) will be able to sleep a little easier..
(we'll cross our fingers on that one)
so its a win/win how i see
and so, in conclution, i will proceed to "blog" my obsessive ponderings, and you can read them or not (at your own peril) and we'll just have to see what comes of it, wont we?
tehe.. =)
did you know it is very hard to type with cold fingers?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is very late, I know. I wish I started reading these sooner.
ReplyDeleteI would like to say something, I feel there's a lot I could say...but nothing comes.
So I'll settle for this: I understand.